Sexual consent,What is it?

Sexual consent is what distinguishes a sexual relationship from sexual violence. Sexual consent is an enthusiastic agreement to participate in a sexual activity. This enthusiastic agreement must be given, verbally and/or non-verbally, and can be withdrawn at any time. Sexual consent can only be given by the person participating in the sexual activity.

Here are the 5 essential elements of sexual consent

A clearly expressed agreement;

It’s important that consent be clearly expressed through words, actions or both. Silence and lack of physical resistance do not imply consent. When in doubt, it’s your responsibility to take reasonable steps to validate your partner’s sexual consent; for example, by simply asking them if they want to share this experience and by listening to them.

Expressed voluntarily;

Consent cannot be obtained through threats or blackmail. You must not put any pressure on your partner. For example, getting angry or making the other person feel guilty if they refuse to engage in a sexual act can invalidate this important element of consent.

It must be clear, freely given and enthusiastic;

Partners must be capable of providing consent, i.e., not physically or mentally incapacitated, intoxicated or asleep. In addition, they must be able to give their consent freely, without fear of reprisal, and must know what they are consenting to. Be aware that even if a person says “yes”, their non-verbal language (gestures, facial expression, posture, etc.) must also express desire and pleasure.

For every sexual activity;

Sexual consent is valid for the present moment, i.e., it must be given each time and with each sexual partner. Furthermore, it applies only to those involved in the sexual activity. In other words, consent cannot be given by a third party.

Can be withdrawn at any time;

As mentioned in the previous point, consent is valid for the present moment. It can therefore be withdrawn at any time during sexual activity, even if it was given at the beginning. During sexual activity, you can ask the other person if they want to continue, and if they don’t, you stop! Asking them is one way of making sure they feel comfortable, safe and secure.

Ages of consent

In Canada, the legal age of consent to sexual activity is 16 years. From this age onwards, it’s possible to give free and informed consent to older people, with no age limit. However, it’s important to remember that a minor cannot consent to a relationship with a person in a position of authority, dependence, exploitation or trust, even if the ages of consent are respected.

Here are a few exceptions:

For 12 and 13 year olds: the law allows them to legally consent to sexual contact or intercourse with a person no more than 2 years older than them.
For 14 and 15 year olds: the law allows them to legally consent to sexual contact or intercourse with a person no more than 5 years older than them.